I am an English writer, who is a Survivor of childhood sex abuse and being in prostitution. Part of the childhood abuse from my stepdad included the mental abuse of being shown hard-core porn - that combined with the sexual abuse meant I felt my only worth was to be an sexual object to any man and that sex was always associated with violence and pain. When aged 14, I fall into prostitution and it was extremely sadistic, I did not turn away for I had too much self-hatred to know it violence and rape - I felt it was all I was worth. I did indoors prostitution of many types from aged 14 to 27, and the vast of time the men that brought me wanted highly sadistic sex. I became used to gang-rapes, to violent oral and anal sex, to being made to perform hard-core porn - that became my existence. I almost killed several times, and attempted suicide a lot - but I somehow survive. When I did exit, I blanked out most of experiences for about 10 years, and after I had put aside remembering the abuse of my stepdad, did I have the mental space to remember. Remembering prostitution is terrible, and I have very bad PTSD.I started my blog to explore PTSD as a result of surviving prostitution, to campaign to end the sex trade and to show the terrible conditions of indoors prostitution. I try to write poetical prose, but I believe my work is political.

Reasons I Will Not Go On the Slutwalk , par Rebecca Mott, writer