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mercredi 30 janvier 2013
Is equating prostitution and rape ‘intolerable violence’ ? Really ?
DANS LA MEME RUBRIQUE
Burkini Is a Feminist Issue Too
The notion that it’s ok for disabled men to pay for sex is rooted in misogyny and ableism
Egyptian doctor living in Zurich produces educational videos about health and sexuality for the Arab world
Amnesty International and Prostitution : Not in Our Name !
Open letter to rabble.ca - Support Meghan Murphy suffered a misogynist campaign by the sex industry lobby
"Insectual - The Secret of the Black Butterfly", by Barbara Sala
Canada’s New Sex Trade Law
Sharia Law, Apostasy and Secularism
“Harm reduction” is not enough to appropriately analyze prostitution
True Progressives Encourage Women’s Equality, Not Their Prostitution
Sexual mutilations outside Africa : new report and new denial except the Iraqi case
FGM slowing down ? The UN asserts it, the Indonesian case contradicts it
Prostitution, STRASS and the senator - When opacity becomes relevant
Obama, Madonna and us
After Ontario Courts rule on Bedford : a rant
Comparing Sex Buyers and Non-Sex Buyers July 2011 (Boston)
Sex resistance in heterosexual arrangements
Abolitionists of the prostitution system : who we are, what we want !
Women Living Under Muslim Laws Statement on Libya
Prostitution is a Threat to Humanity
Prostitution - Call for Australia’s prostitution laws to be tightened
Violence - An Open Letter from Black Women to SlutWalk Organizers
Nothing that is sexual can be considered criminal : hidden sexual violence in the DSK case
The Truth about Global Sex Slavery – A Book by Lydia Cacho
Why reproductive rights and prostitution are not the same thing : A response to one decriminalization argument
Prostitution - The abolitionist project within the conference Women’s Worlds 2011
Montreal - The Turcotte jury got it wrong
Reasons I Will Not Go On the Slutwalk
International Sex Industries and their Accomplices Hamper the Autonomy of All Women
Ten Critical Reasons for getting rid of Harper’s Conservatives
Real solidarity with prostituted women is in the fight for abolition of prostitution
Decriminalize prostituted persons and criminalize those who exploit them (‘johns’ and pimps)
Polygamy in Canada Should Remain Illegal
My fears of the push for indoors prostitution
We cannot be satisfied with the simple harm-reduction model
The Native Women’s Association of Canada is Worried About Himel’s Judgement on Prostitution
Ontario Court Decision Abandons Aboriginal Women and Women of Colour to Pimps
Response to the VPD review in the cases of the Pickton Murders
Speech - The effects of globalization of political Islam on Women’s Rights, the question with polygamy, the Niqab and Honour Killing
Quebec Forges Enlightened Trail on Burkas
Breast Cancer a Disease, No a Marketing Opportunity
The International Campaign To Closedown Iranian Embassies
Violation of rights in Iran, a window from my experience to a broader picture
"Sex worker" ? Never met one !
The One Million Signatures Campaign has been awarded the prestigious Global Women’s Rights Award from the Feminist Majority Foundation
Prostitution - Feminist Perspectives, a book
Prostitution : Violating the Human Rights of Poor Women
More than 1 000 american historians call for equity in the stimulus package in open letter to Obama
Order of Canada Awarded to Dr. Morgentaler - Acts of intimidation should not rule Canada
Femaid report on Afghanistan, May 2008
Time for Quebecers to be more open : Bouchard-Taylor report
Canadian Bar Association supports strengthening equality in the Quebec Charter
Zero Tolerance for Johns : How the Government of Sweden Would Respond to Spitzer
Politicians are responsible for toxic, misogynist environment facing girls
Spitzer - The Myth of the Victimless Crime
Goodbye To All That (#2)
The freedom to never prostitute oneself
NO legalized brothels for the Olympics 2010 - Aboriginal women’s Action Network statement on prostitution
CLES says NO to the violence of prostitution
Does Porn Make the Man ?
A Trip Into the Absurd
Mothers File International Complaint Against United States
Prostitutes are victims, not criminals
Anthology of Québec Women’s Plays in English Translation, Volume I (1966-1986)
The Concertation des luttes contre l’exploitation sexuelle (CLES) intervene during the upcoming provincial election
Prostitution - Three Women and a Debate
Men Favour the Apolitical Discourse on Prostitution
The Whole Truth Must be Told : Sylviane’s testimony on her experience of prostitution
Democracy and Religious Obligations : an Impasse ?
What is liberation ? Feminism past, present and future
Books by Andrea Dworkin
Globalization, Militarism and Sex Trafficking
Muslim Groups Denounce the Cultural Relativism of a Certain Left
Canadian Muslim leader alleges her veil views sparked vandalism
Prostitution : CATW’S Post-World Cup Statement
NOW to denounce so-called parental alienation
Prostitution : for an Abolitionist Bill
The dimensions of trafficking for purposes of prostitution
"Charm is a Guise ; Batterers Belong in Jail, Expert Says"
Interview with Catherine MacKinnon : Are Women Human ?
Danish cartoons - Doing away with the Enlightenment ?
It’s happening next door : from incestuous girls to alienating mothers
Green Light for Pimps and Johns
Buying Sex is not a Sport
Prostitution is Violence Against Women
The Ideal Site for the Crime
Tell me, what does "gender" really mean ?
Gunilla Ekberg : « The best thing we can do for our sisters is to support them to get out of prostitution »
Interview with Catharine A. MacKinnon : « They haven’t crushed me yet. »
Decriminalizing prostitution, a magnet for pimps and johns
Declaration on Religious Arbitration in Family Law
Prostitution : Towards a Canadian policy of abolition
Prostitution inseparable of violence against women
The need for a public debate on prostitution and its social consequences
Prostitution of First Nations Women in Canada
270 000 $ granted to Stella for a four days event on sex work
IN MEMORIAM : Andrea Dworkin or The passion for justice
Decriminalizing prostitution will not improve the security of prostituted women
Dworkin - Taking Back the Night
Backlash and Whiplash : A Critique of Statistics Canada’s 1999 General Social Survey on Victimization
Helping the prostituted women or promoting prostitution ?
The Need for a Public Debate on Prostitution and its Social Consequences
The legalization of prostitution and its impact on trafficking in women and children
Prostitution Links, Women’s Justice Center
"If you don’t take a job as a prostitute, we can stop your benefits"
Sweden Treating Prostitution as Violence Against Women
Forced marriage as crime
Why Women Must Get out of Men’s Laps
International Campaing Against Shari’a Court in Canada
Decriminalize prostituted women, not prostitution
Canada Contributes to the Sexual Trafficking of Women for Purposes of Prostitution
Fathers’ Rights Groups in Australia and their Engagement with Issues in Family Law
Women Rage Against ’Rape’ in Northeast India
Sexual domination in uniform : an american value
Tribunals Will Marginalize Canadian Muslin Women and Increase Privatization of Family Law
The sexual sadism of our culture, in peace and in war
Queer theory and violence against women
The Legalisation of Prostitution : A failed social experiment
Globalization and the Sex Trade : Trafficking and the Commodification of Women and Children
Will Paternal Paranoia Triumph ?
Ode to Survivors
Court confirms any woman’s human right to organize with peers
Program produces motherless kids
Legitimating Prostitution as Sex Work : UN Labour Organization (ILO) Calls for Recognition of the Sex Industry (Part One)
Legitimating Prostitution as Sex Work : UN International Labour Organization Calls for Recognition of the Sex Industry (Part Two)
Elisabeth Badinter distorts feminism the better to fight it
Prostitution : Rights of Women or Right to Women ?
The "Stolen Feminism" Hoax : Anti-Feminist Attack Based on Error-Filled Anecdotes
Hormone Replacement Therapy, the "Magic Bullet" Ricochets
For the sake of the children : the law, domestic violence and children contact in England
Friendships between women good for health
Children of divorce need our protection
Divorce Bill’s flaws inadvertently aid abusers
Problem isn’t little boys, it’s little minds
A report from Status of Women Canada about the discursive denial of gender inequalities
Ten Reasons for Not Legalizing Prostitution
Poem for Peace
Peace Rally Speech of a 12 year old American Girl
Good clone, bad clone ?
Canadian Women’s Health Network
So hard to say goodbye
For several weeks, I have seen my time-line overrun with tweets that virulently protest the equating of prostitution with a form of rape. This analogy is denounced as intolerably violent words, deemed to demolish by themselves alone the value of female consent, and moreover to severely stigmatize whores and raped women. (These words are alleged to depict the former as unempowered and to minimize the latter’s suffering and abuse experience.)
For abolitionists, the equating of rape and prostitution proves quite relevant, since the latter is about imposing sex that is both unwanted sex and consented to because of the power of money and the financial constraints on the prostituted.
Does this analysis really constitute “intolerable violence” ?
The first time I was confronted with words denouncing the intolerable violence of this analogy, I had a strange feeling. I couldn’t really have put words on it, but I felt a kind of malaise, and more to the point, I had difficulty grasping the problem.
Eventually, I have come to the conclusion that the words that hurt me most were in fact those that completely denied how much violence there can be in sex that is owed to someone.
As for all these talking points that are supposed to defend my rights and freedoms, such as :
– “Whores offer a service based on an agreement, so from a certain point on, I am not supposed to say anything.”
– “Whores prostitute by choice, who am I to tell them what they should do with their lives.”
– “Whores who whine that what they do is hard / violent, well, all they have to do is stop doing it : one always has the choice in life.”
– “Whores who whine that what they do is hard and violent are opportunists who just want to take advantage of organizations that are too naïve and fooled by slackers.”
– “One can just as well choose to be a whore or a secretary or a math teacher, I don’t see the problem.”
– “You can always say no, stop, you can leave and give back the money.”
Here is what is fucking violent.
This sustained deafness, this indifference, this victim-blaming, this normalization of what I (and many others) live through, is worse, so much worse, that any overestimation of the violence of prostitution.
Because, well, it’s true, systematically equating prostitution and rape may be a bit of an overstatement.
And yet, overall, isn’t it kind of strange that all whores agree that the important thing is “to get it over with as fast as possible”, or that they all rejoice in the existence of these mythical clients who “only want to talk”.
Recently, as I was surfing on the prostitution forum of the Doctissimo portal (the cream of the crop in terms of comical Internet forums, it’s well worth your time), a young girl triggered the hilarity of several whores in clearly articulating that, in a nutshell, she wanted to know every possible method of NOT fucking while prostituting. The answer she received was : “We are all looking for them.”
Simply because fucking as something owed to someone is violent, tedious and disgusting.
We have to remain vigilant, checking our money and things, the client’s rubbers, the time elapsed, the guy’s behavior, all that kind of stuff.
But in retrospect, there is sometimes a very bitter taste to some “service deliveries”. A taste that twists our guts and that we don’t even feel entitled to since, hey, one is there by choice and one needs to grin and bear it...
Strange how this reminds me of something.
The missing ones...
And as usual in this story, there is this great gap of the missing ones, the ones we never talk about because, well, we are all in full agreement about that issue so it’s not worth mentioning, right ?
The ones that are coerced, pimped, trafficked, call it what you wish.
Abolitionists are often accused of having a closed mind, but to only discuss the prostitution deemed free and chosen, isn’t that a nice huge pair of blinders ?
What is prostitution for these women if not paid rape ?
How can one rail against the “intolerable violence” of equating prostitution and rape without taking this problem in consideration for at least a second ?
A reversal of priorities ...
What I find quite strange in this “debate” is precisely this reversal of priorities.
One derides the violence (Is there such a thing as a violent contradiction ?) that may represent some words in the case of a minority, instead of considering what these words are denouncing for the majority of the prostituted.
One protests on behalf of the few who experience prostitution as self-growth or even fun (I would love meeting some of those, but real ones, eh, not the kind that privately confide horrors), without considering those for whom it is a succession of abuse and time-released trauma, and even less those who are coerced.
No really, the intolerable violence is not the one we think.
French version : blogue Le Mélange Instable de Salomée – « L’assimilation viol/prostitution, une violence intolérable, vraiment ? » - http://melange-instable.blogspot.ca/2013/01/l-assimilation-violprostitution-une.html
Traduction : Martin Dufresne
© Salomée Miroir, janvier 2013.
Edited on Sisyphe, January 30, 2013.